fling November 11, 2007
Posted by jak in Creative Writing, Life, love, Poem, Poetry, Writing.trackback
once the words are spoken
she sits
soft and lean,
draped like shy molasses
into the crevices of her seat.
once the words are spoken
her eyes
fall hard and neat,
fullhearted in their wanting,
a gaze unwanted and unseen.
© 2007 Argonaut
I love that ending!
“Molasses” and “shy” are two of my favorite words…I never would have thought of writing them side by side. Put together, I’m inspired to say them out loud, and discover whether “shy molasses” melts in the mouth the way it does on the page.
Beautiful, somehow reminds me of a girl I love. And the way our eyes sometimes meet.
Interesting use of words here, Jak..;> “Draped like shy molasses” feels good in my mouth.. I also like the use of the same line for both stanzas. Like it a lot.
fuck. love this poem.