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Malnutrition April 5, 2007

Posted by jak in Creative Writing, Life, Poem, Poetry, Writing.
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Sands of sadness drift
Into dunes of despair
Our lives become stiff
As souls simply scared

Misery will sift
To strangers through air
An unwelcome gift
Our sorrow is shared

As a virus so swift
Left the earth bare

© 2007 Argonaut

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Comments»

1. Nancy Lee - April 6, 2007

Stark..barren..
left me feeling sad and somewhat empty.

You got your point across extremely well with this one!
Very well done indeed.

2. crazyasuka - April 8, 2007

Wow, that’s pretty apocalyptic.

I like it.

3. Ceeej~ - August 19, 2007

I love that we tackle alot of the same topics and handle some of the same images so differently!! “Sift” perfect word choice as well as other sand~y word choices…remained consistent and effective. But I kinda wanted souls to “tear” (the verb, not meaning to “Cry” but to rip apart”
It rhymes as does “scared” but for some reason I thought it might be more visual…I actually read it that way by accident~

It reminds me of one I wrote about the rainforest…
maybe you’ll run across it sometime>

Enjoyed this!!!

ceeej~

4. Ceeej~ - August 19, 2007

And one more thing…I SUCK at writing titles for my poems…yours are great!!!

ceeej


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