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Feminine Feist August 23, 2007

Posted by jak in Creative Writing, Life, Poem, Poetry, Writing.
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An evolution of language
Melts into her mouth

Drunken destruction fades
Escaping through her shouts

I sink like sand for safety
Feeling beaten in this bout

She looks for a chance to crave me
Before I drift beneath her drought

© 2007 Argonaut

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Comments»

1. Susan Cornelis - August 23, 2007

Your words get right inside me. So strong!

2. sanjukta - August 23, 2007

Wow, this is a very nice blog….will visit regular…

Your poems are so unassuming and effortless, that’s what makes them special.. like Susan said above, they go straight inside the readers heart so effortlessly..

Thanks for your comments on my page… :)

3. senoritadorkita - August 23, 2007

Thanks for your comment :)

Your poetry is quite nice :)

4. nochipa - August 23, 2007

Jason,

Your poetry is great…you are gifted.

Nochipa

5. lydia2007 - August 24, 2007

WHOA – BEAUTIFUL! It packs a wonderful whallop!

6. ann marie simard - August 24, 2007

Wonderful in terms of serial semantics. It does pack a lot indeed. It’s both sensitive to the subject and language itself, without turning all meta-poetry. So, that means perfect :)

“I sink like sand for safety
Feeling beaten in this bout”

That’s really good. The rhymes were not necessarily necessary but somehow work in a modern way – or a new take on the elegy.

7. Tanya - August 24, 2007

I just read this poem after posting one in my own blog –> http://momentarysolutions.wordpress.com/2007/08/24/sunday-is-breaking/

I’m currently having an ‘OMG’ moment…

8. birdsword - August 24, 2007

I like how in this poem feminine feist can also be tangled into feast or famine (if you play with the word sounds)

9. Amanda Sanz - August 25, 2007

I really love the way this one flows. Keep it up!

10. devega860 - August 25, 2007

WOW! Powerful, very well done. I like your style.

11. jeques - August 25, 2007

A novel way of saying it in a poem. Words aptly chosen to make a clear statement and I like the rhythm, particularly where the poem rolled to a halt. It is where the statement of the poem spoke the loudest.

I wish you well ~ Jeques

12. hismuse - August 29, 2007

Very beautiful and sensual.

13. writerlulu - September 25, 2007

I love the last movement. I’ll look in on your blog regularly. Thanks for the comment on my poem. It’s obvious you enjoy words and using them to paint.

Linda


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