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michelle. gravitas. August 24, 2007

Posted by jak in Creative Writing, Life, love, Poem, Poetry, Writing.
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she plainly sedates
her fierce spirit tempts fate
seducing the weak, the weary, and the full

she puts forth a face
unchallenged unchaste
appealing to brows… high, low, and cool

© 2007 Argonaut

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Comments»

1. shental - August 24, 2007

I like the feeling in this one. :D

2. fantasy77 - August 24, 2007

I do agree, it has a neat kind of feel to it, at least that’s the word I would use! Here is something that I wrote, let me know what you think?

The eyes are a window into a person’s heart, the eyes are an open door to a person’s feelings and emotions, the eyes are also a path into a person’s thoughts, the eyes hold hold the secrets and the mysteries of a person’s past, the eyes hold a person’s ideals either for goog or evil; the eyes speak the unspoken words of the mouth and soul….. look around at your family, at your friends, look into their eyes and see the heart of that person! Author: Emily S./ Fantasy77, August 24, 2007.

3. tomachfive - August 25, 2007

Sultry special tribute.

4. cardona507 - August 25, 2007

i like this one alot- short, but sweet.
-carlos
ps- how do you get the copyright to look like that?

5. antisocialist - August 26, 2007

That’s nice, your second stanza in particular.

It occurred to me that “brows” in the last line could conceivably be “browse.” So I read it again. Now I’m not entirely sure what you’re going for. Elaborate?

6. shuz - August 26, 2007

romantic and mystic. very nice:)

see ya around:)

7. fantasy77 - August 27, 2007

Here are some lyrics that I wish I could turn into songs but then I realized that they also could be poems to these I wrote myself….

Life
Lyrics: Emily Sanchez
June 30,2007

Have you ever wondered how long you’re actually going to live
Have you ever wondered what life was really meant to be
Have you ever wonder what makes the world go round
What does it mean to be “really” alive
Is the sky honestly the limit

Chorus:
This is all I really know
Life is just too short
To try and prove that people are wrong
To sit around and do literally nothing
To wait for opportunity to come find us
We have to be motivated enough to go out into the world
To find out first who we really are, then once we’ve found that
To use and utilize the gifts and abilities that we have been given

(Spoken)
I see a painter
I hear a wonderful vocalist
I watch a young child sharing their toys
I can imagine landing on Mars
A simple act can inspire an entire nation
An honest testimony can heal thousands
What are you going to contribute to this world?

Repeat Chorus

You can bring anything that you want to the table, as long its going to benefit
Everyone who has lived, has either blessed or cursed this world that we as humans occupy
Duh! This is serious
What else do you want me to say, I’m speaking the truth and you damn well know it
If I were lying I’d be telling you that your life is perfect and this world is going to live forever
Not!

Repeat Chorus.

Here’s another one, I’m not going to put all of them because it would take a while to read them all.

Critical
Lyrics: Emily Sanchez
July 2, 2007

I’m mind’in my own business
Walk’in through town, in my own way, take’in my sweet time
People pass’in, strangers I don’t know, n they don’t know me
I get a shiver of spite down my spine, when some people have the nerve…

Chorus:
To just stare at me, with those critical eyes, they don’t know me
What gives them the right to judge a stranger, like me
Nothing, I tell ya no one, at all
Stereotypical views, pin’in a label on every kid they see, like me
Good, bad or indifferent, it don’t matter, they don’t even stop, to think
To take a moment to learn who I really am, inside
Oh that critical gaze
Critical

Last time I checked, I’m a human being, I got feelings too
I have ideas, hopes, n dreams, I don’t judge you, so why judge me
Clump me together in that narrow-minded place, where there’s no extra space
If you’d give me a chance, you would see, that I’m an individual
Everything about me is what makes me unique, different from everyone else
But no, not willing, can’t keep your eyes off of me
I’m so disgusted that you’d have the nerve…..

Repeat Chorus

Stop, take the time to shake my hand, get to know who I am
Its not too much, for us to take a walk, treat each other with respect
I’m willing to take the chance, how’ bout you

Repeat Chorus (Last five lines)

That type of think’in don’t, no it won’t get you anywhere
Oh the critical, stereotypical point of view….
Its critical

8. Amanda Sanz - August 28, 2007

I love the way you opened with this one:

she plainly sedates
her fierce spirit tempts fate

very seductive.

9. janetleigh - October 6, 2007

This one *does* have a seductive quality about it; and I really like the last line. I would not have known what “brow” meant had I not stumbled onto Spoleto Festival’s Low Brow blog. In his case, Neanderthal would work too. (Sorry) I mean, I hope it means ‘she’ appeals to all, low class, high class and plain old cool class. Please correct me if I’m wrong, Jak. I really enjoy your originality.


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