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Hide and Seek January 13, 2008

Posted by jak in Creative Writing, Life, love, Poem, Poetry, Writing.
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Wooden planks of dust
Lean on floors of rust
Blanketing the ground

Nighttime bustle
Nighttime hustle
Until the child’s found

Tears dry to the taste
On a virgin face
Drip without a sound

A heavy home
A frozen womb
The cold keeps her now

She fled simple folly
This cold still Molly
A blanket for the ground

Nighttime bustle
Nighttime hustle
Until the child’s found

© 2007 Argonaut

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Comments»

1. janetleigh - January 15, 2008

A very interesting read, Jason. For some reason reading this makes me think of that poor little kidnapped British girl whose parents are now quasi-suspects. For me, the poem has an ominous air to it, sadness, agitation, and false hope. Of course, all this can also be a reflection of my own state of mind. :( I think your rhymes and word choice are very good. The 2S repetition at the end also hints of it being sung; as in an old folk song. It’s very well-written, and the images are clear and vivid to me.

Am I even close in my interpretation, Jason?

2. Jak - January 15, 2008

Of course. It was intended to be sad and ominous. I had hoped that it came across a little lyrically.


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